Staying up and just hanging out w/ friends etc. is easy. Staying up to get work done is exhausting. These are things that I’ve done in the past that have helped

1.hide the clock:
time doesnt really matter, you need to get sth done, watching the clock and playing the “ok, i can get x hours of sleep” just stresses me out personally.

2. short bursts of exercise:
just to keep the blood pumping and me from nodding off

3. log off msn / chat / avoid distractions:
the sooner you’re done the sooner you will be in cool sheets, fluffy pillows and loving blankie

4. cool refreshing water
coffee makes my stomach bite, coke/pepsi makes my teeth furry, i prefer cold crisp water

I get body calamities 3 or 4 times a year in the form of crazy cramps or migraines. If it’s crazy cramps then I’m in pain, I get hot and cold and sweat a lot, I get really really tired and I run the risk of going unconscious. If it’s a migraine then my left eye feels like it’s gonna pop out of my head, my neck stiffens, my head throbs, I am stricken w/ extreme nausea and lights make me cry. When either of the two calamities strikes I rely on the kindness of strangers… and then eventually Chris, Shaheen or Azizah (b/c the kind stranger asks “Is there anyone I can call for you?”).

So I was struck w/ a body calamity at the U of A, Edmonton. I went to the washroom in agonizing pain, feeling faint and getting hot and cold flashes. I realized I would need some help and the janitor agreed to get me a taxi. I waited for her outside the washroom on some cushiony benches in the fetal position. She was taking her sweet sweet time so I decided I would venture my way back to the class to get my bags and things. I got the backs but didn’t trust myself to go back down the stairs w/o adult supervision. I told a random guy I wasn’t feeling well and needed help down the stairs. He asked if he could get a coffee first. I firmly said no. So he walks me down and we part our ways. He did ask me if I had the flu. I answered I didn’t think so. Then I’m back on the cushiony chairs. The wife of a classmate sits beside me and we chat for a bit and she comments I look tired. The lady finally shows up and says a cab should arrive soon. I go outside and then chase the cab. On four separate occasions I see it and walk towards it but the cab isn’t sure which exit he’s supposed to wait for me at and keeps moving around between exits. I finally get in, go home, pop some pills, get to bed and use a frozen bag of fries as a cold compress.

Yes I have seen a doctor, no nothing else can be done.

The kindest stranger I ever met cared for me during a migraine. She washed my face including the vomit spittle, gave me a massage, got me cold water, helped me take a few layers of clothing off and called for help. I never saw her again.

So drastic times call for drastic measures. Before coming to Edmonton I didn’t watch too too much tv. However, tv watching and just relaxin’ and chilling has become a social, pleasing waste of time w/ my roommates that I must now avoid as much as possible. So yes… on thursdays. I guess that means no “Amazing Race” :(. Hmm… No, no, can’t hazard it. I must avoid “AR”. I leave thursday viewing b/c thursdays I’m exhausted and I deserve a treat.

My current beef is with my “Nanotechnology” course. At first it was delightful. We talked about so many weird and exciting foreign to engineering things like: history of diseases, politics behind genetically modified foods, etc. Then we strayed into DNA/RNA/enzymes/proteins. Stuff I do not know anything about. What’s worse is that everyone is doing presentations (some students on DNA…etc) and after the presentations the audience is marked on how intellectual questions we ask (class participation) and the presenter on how well they respond (how well the presenter can guard his/her “kohones”). I read this paper that’s being reviewed tomorrow on “A Molecular Elevator” (Science, March 2004). I hardly understood a word. From what I can understand there’s a freakish three-pronged molecule that they’ve made that moves as a response to different levels of acids and bases. What the bunk kind of questions can I ask about that? How would you estimate this molecule’s response to Montain Dew? Do you think it would provide a smooth ride? How could you pimp out this molecule more? Dear Lord…

Things that I’ve recently become aware of:

- Orientalism and thus an interesting man named Edward Said. I’m kind of emberassed that I didn’t know of him earlier.

- Old Indian films “Pakeezah” and “Umrao Jaan” which relate a rather disturbing time. The only thing sort of comforting is that it doesn’t happen anymore. Hahahaha… it so does just in different forms.

Toodles for now.

If you know me you know that I’m fairly high strung. I already pray, read Quran, joined two halaqas, started wall-climbing, working out too, tried to eat my way out of it and tried to shop my way out of it… result: afloat.

I think you just need to face it. Whatever it is that you’re running from or changing yourself for unsuccessfully. When you’re young it’s so easy. There is halal and haram. Then you learn tricks of rationalizing, then you become influenced by pride and status, then you want to be perfect… result: insanity.

If you live your life (as I feel I have lived mine) to be nothing more than a holding pattern until this happens or that happens… you run the risk of never touching-down. If you’re too rash then you will collide. Very fine balance I suppose. Haven’t quite figured it out myself. result: confusion

Whatever, I have to study my ass of tomorrow. G’nite.