So today was an up and down day. I missed one bus this morning, the second bus never showed and I finally got on the third bus. I find being late pretty stressful. Regardless I got there finally. I went through the lab I’ll be TAing upcoming monday afternoon. It took me about 2 hours during which time I couldn’t go check out the new Masjid for Jummah. I was kind of really bummed about that because Mohammad actually called me from the Masjid telling me I’m missing out.  Well I couldn’t pray today anyways. Then Pommy out of nowhere brings out homemade salsa and pakora-fied veggies to share and I got an instant high. Then I had to run some errands which included going to Superstore. I got out of Superstore at around 4:30pm. I came home and cooked for 10 ppl who came for iftar. I had nothing prepared beforehand because this was a nasty week for me. Getting ready required a lot of intense focused but multitasked work. I couldn’t have done it without my sister. The evening went great. It was the last of my series of invites and I felt a real feeling of accomplished knowing I had completed that huge project. We even did some henna hand stuff. Unfortunately I cut my wrist washing a long glass. Sadiya brought these amazing desserts so all was good.
I have to study for my midterm. The first chapter I get. The second chapter is complete jibber jabber. After reading the sections twice and reading the notes it’s still jibber jabber. Perchance I will be screweth.

I’ve always found it difficult to say no. I generally stretch myself out thin and collapse, pick myself up again and then repeat until infinity. I find myself wisening up a teenie bit. I’m finding that I’m preventing collapses. However I still am not realizing when I’ve stretched myself out too thin yet. Meh, with time. Very recently I told someone I would do something for them that I knew I couldn’t do and ended up not being able to do thinking I could just push myself. Well it was a disaster and the person afterwards said “…you could’ve just said you can’t get to it and I would have managed… “. I think I put too much pressure on myself to accomodate others. It will take time to adjust.

Ramadhan is coming to a close. By next weekend it should be all wrapped up. This Ramadhan I had people over twice a week. Yes, that was a little intense. See above paragraph. However I figured out a few things about entertaining that I thought I’d share. Muslims are not good at RSVP. I admit, when Muslims entertain it’s usually crowds of people. So the idea of RSVPing isn’t necessary because if the host is cooking for like 20 it won’t make a difference if one or two don’t show up. Problem is that my entertaining prowess has not bloomed to be able to support crowds. I can comfortably handle about five and with Tipu’s help about ten. Anything more and I go sort of schitzo. So there were cases when I went to a lot of trouble and people didn’t understand to tell me they wouldn’t be making it. Also, go disposable. Get paper stuff but definately go disposable. I do think being able to have people come to your home is an important social skill. Even if you get most of it catered you should still invite people to your place every now and then. It’s good to be with people you love and share a meal with them. I think it saves you from the land of jadedness. There’s a sense of warmness and care that you can’t get by going out to a restaurant.

My blue-poka-dotted with red cherries cotton house pants ripped. My obscene pink/fuschia sweatpants ripped too (I still have another pair though). My overly silk-screen-painted shirt from high school was always uncomfortable because it’s sort of like cardboard in places but now I’m actually not wearing it anymore. My crazy house clothes era is slowly coming to a close I think.

There are some days that you just need to end. There are some days that are completely unsalvagable and you’re better off moving on. I had one of those days recently and made things worse by trying to make it better.

North Korea has me freaked out. I actually found it difficult to sleep after eating this early morning and watching the news. The world is a vampire. It feels like we’ve been having non-stop tension increase for a few years now. I miss the calmer times.

Ramadhan is wrapping up. It’s weird because it feels as though it just began. I don’t remember last Ramadhan but this one has been beyond hectic. When things are too fast it’s hard to be spiritual which is too bad. I hope to be able to forcibly slow some things down soon to reap some benefits of this month.

As a Muslim I need to be reliant on God. That doesn’t mean I can laze off and hope for miracles. It does mean that I am to do my best and all faculties that are outside my persuasion I must rely on Allah for help. As a child it was easier. Nothing was within my control. I remember praying for the most mundane things. As an adult it’s much more difficult. I find myself forgetting to ask for help.

There was a shooting at an Amish school. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. If not news.google.ca and find out what you can. A very disturbed man shot 10 girls and himself. Some of the girls died. The Amish community is suffering from the tragedy in their very private way. However, they also recognize death as being something that they prepare to do. Although they are filled with grief, they believe their young daughters are in a better place. They all seem so loosely tethered to this world and reaching for the next.

Anyways, it just got me thinking.